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Chaplains Corner A place to discuss religion, personal problems, or to request advise from someone who will listen and provide moral support. |
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01-27-2016, 09:19 AM | #61 |
slug
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01-27-2016, 10:35 AM | #62 |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Well, in a way I'm glad things are beginning to look a tad better for you Steve.
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"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem." Pesident Ronald Reagan |
01-27-2016, 08:59 PM | #63 |
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01-27-2016, 10:16 PM | #64 |
slug
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: swampeastmissouri
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03-08-2016, 07:09 PM | #65 |
slug
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ice Station Zebra
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Best of luck to you DirtySteve! Sounds like you are keeping your composure.
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07-09-2016, 10:17 AM | #66 |
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Started dating a bit, casually anyway during the times I'm not with my boy.
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07-09-2016, 11:33 AM | #67 |
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Good for you! The boy comes first, then social activities.
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07-10-2016, 09:24 AM | #68 |
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07-10-2016, 10:04 PM | #69 | |
Gaw' Blimey Limey
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Round behind the sleazy bars of Telephone Road
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Quote:
Now you can begin to rebuild your life. Good luck... and remember to stay in touch with God.
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zulu6 out |
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07-11-2016, 07:44 AM | #70 | |
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Location: Penn's Woods!
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Quote:
1. Get a lawyer, NOW, before she does. She made a mistake by being the first one to abandon the primary residence. I suggest you capitalize on it! 2. Forget about blaming yourself. Being submissive isn't going to help. 3. Forget about hoping for her to return because, statistically, (Realistically!) she probably won't; and even if she did it's unlikely to last for long. 4. At this stage of the marital breakdown it's highly probable that, somewhere, there's another man; or, if not, then the prospect of one is on, ‘the horizon’. 5. Toughen up! The best posture for you to assume is that of being an adversary. You can, ‘sugar-coat’ it if you like; but she certainly will. 6. You can remain civil and polite; but a cautious adversary is the only thing that you should be. (She might remain friendly; or, at least, for awhile you can expect her to, ‘fight like a woman’ until she gets all of her, ‘ducks in order’ and understands exactly what her option are.) 7. Your willingness to reconcile (Your, 'hope against all hope'!) is an intellectual weakness; and, sooner or later, she WILL use this forlorn hope against you. 8. Forget about, ‘retooling’. Nobody’s perfect; and I AM CERTAIN that she could use some, ‘retooling’ of her own. By allowing yourself to think like this you have (albeit unwittingly) given her the psychological advantage. 9. In every divorce children are always, ‘casualties of war’. Life goes on. Circumstances and personalities vary. Some kids are able to rise above a marital breakup; and others will become entangled in it. Whatever happens unless your wife really screws up, ‘big time’, she will always have the emotional, ‘inside track’ with the child; and especially if that child is a boy. 10. When the wife moves out she is putting you on notice that her marriage to you is no longer the highest priority in her thinking and emotional life. This dissatisfied attitude is especially true if you haven’t really given your present wife any, ‘real reason’ to leave the marital home. (Genuine reasons for a marital breakup usually include one or more of the following authentic motivations: drugs, alcohol, physical disease, mutual guilt, (It doesn’t matter what for.) emotional indifference, physical brutality, and/or involves at least one other member of an opposite sex.) You asked for my opinion; and I’ve given it to you. Now, I think it’s time for you to become more, ‘self-orientated’, and place your own perceived best interests first. The child will either come around, or he* won’t. Either way it’s not going to be your fault. NOTES: 1. Will the two of you occasionally, ‘sleep’ together again? Probably. Why? Because during a marital breakup - and instead of being legitimately enjoyable - sex may very easily become a, ‘weapon of psychological manipulation and abuse’. 2. Yes, I know it's an old thread; but the need for this sort of information remains timeless! * Formal English pronoun in, ‘universal gender’. (‘Old school’, I know; but I am, ‘old school’.) |
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07-14-2016, 10:12 AM | #71 |
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07-14-2016, 09:50 PM | #72 |
Moderator
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Also remember rule #3.
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12-19-2017, 12:45 PM | #73 |
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Update; Ex wife moved back in just after Halloween. I'm positive it's because she's financially ruined. I'm not trying to force anything along reconciliation, but I'm grateful to have my 3yr old boy under my roof every night rather than 1/2 the time. We never "fought" so no drama on that end. Career wise, the charter school I was at has lost it's contract. She doesn't know. Please pray for opportunities to come along fellas.
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12-19-2017, 01:52 PM | #74 |
slug
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: swampeastmissouri
Posts: 50,849
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We will all pray for you, Sir...
Protect yourself and keep your eyes open and don't let her cloud your judgement... Good luck Sir But remember about getting caught in the same trap twice... |
12-19-2017, 04:07 PM | #75 |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,231
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Damn, go and apply with your county, quick. Do you have a science degree by any chance, Physics, Math, Biology Chemistry? My son may need a new calculus teacher soon.
apply at Biotech at Richmond Heights. Oh yeah, it's down here. |
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