Dealing with suicidal people

[Johnny]

A local friend/acquaintance is a US Army combat vet like me. Lately he's been posting a lot of weird, depressing and potentially suicidal discussions on Facebook. I finally reached out to him and offered to take him to lunch. We made arrangements to meet at my off-grid cabin. Just the two of us. I'd provide all the food, drinks and bonfire. We can sit an bullshit.

One hour prior, he calls and says he can't make it with the most ridiculous excuse possible. I graciously accept the "rain check".

Back on Facebook, he's pulling the same shit. I'm beginning to think it's just a cry for attention. I'm all about helping the "wounded warrior" but at some point, it's not my responsibility. It's his. Fuck him.

[Bluntforce]

Better he makes a mess at his place than yours.

[aviator]

People who talk about it do it to get attention. I had someone like that once, put a gun in his had and told him "Do it!". He never did, eventually I lost track of him.

[rto]

Give him the Vet suicide hotline.

[Johnny]

Give him the Vet suicide hotline.

He's a senior NCO. He's already under "doctors care". I have zero experience in dealing with suicidal/depressed people. My only role was as a fellow vet willing to sit around the campfire, eat fried chicken, and tell war stories.

[4thIDvet]

He's a senior NCO. He's already under "doctors care". I have zero experience in dealing with suicidal/depressed people. My only role was as a fellow vet willing to sit around the campfire, eat fried chicken, and tell war stories.

You sir are NOT a Doctor. NOT.. Don't try to be one it is great your trying to help but you will only hurt yourself mentally. Virtually every vet that offs him or herself does so from survival guilt. 'We were sitting their and a sniper took out my best friend it should have been me.' No it should NOT have been you sheet happens in war.
You can NOT be a hero every frigging day. Out front one day laying low the next. Their are old pilots and bold pilots but their are no old bold pilots. Survival guilt was eating me alive when I came home. I should have done this or done that. Well sorry I didn't and every man in the group told the same damn thing.
Your friend MUST go to group meetings and get that monkey off his back. You are NOT going to do it.
Welcome home.
Tim 4th I.D. Charlie Co. Nam 68' 69'

ADD: Audie Murphy the most decorated soldier of WWII had survival guilt so bad every day he struggled with suicide. His friend was killed and it was his fault. NO it was not. James Cagney the actor took him in and started his road to recovery.

[rto]

Johnny, listen to what Tim said.

[merc]

I don't have a good answer .
I have dealt with far too many suicides on my job.
7 in the first 8 years of my precinct alone ,
including a good friend killing himself , on duty ,
in uniform , at 0430 hrs , Christmas morning , 1994 ,
inside of Smith's Bar at W44th St and 8th Ave .

He walked in , sat in a booth , and killed himself
with his .38 Special .

A number of men I worked with , now retired , are
killing themselves .

The young kids on my job , so disillusioned
with being punching bags and disrespected
because liberal politicians and civilian liberals
want it that way , even though white liberals make
up only an extremely small minority who have
the balls to become cops

They're all individuals
They all have different reasons .
You are stigmatized if you contact the dept
or the so called , "Hotline."

Permanent solution for a temporary problem ,
and I don't have a good answer

MERC

[44044]

One of my best friends texted me

and said that he was going to be

at such and such place…he didn’t

respond to any of my calls or texts

I drove to where he said he was going

to be…he had blown the top of his

head off…it wasn’t a pretty sight…

[Johnny]

You sir are NOT a Doctor. NOT.. Don't try to be one it is great your trying to help but you will only hurt yourself mentally. Virtually every vet that offs him or herself does so from survival guilt. 'We were sitting their and a sniper took out my best friend it should have been me.' No it should NOT have been you sheet happens in war.
You can NOT be a hero every frigging day. Out front one day laying low the next. Their are old pilots and bold pilots but their are no old bold pilots. Survival guilt was eating me alive when I came home. I should have done this or done that. Well sorry I didn't and every man in the group told the same damn thing.
Your friend MUST go to group meetings and get that monkey off his back. You are NOT going to do it.
Welcome home.
Tim 4th I.D. Charlie Co. Nam 68' 69'

ADD: Audie Murphy the most decorated soldier of WWII had survival guilt so bad every day he struggled with suicide. His friend was killed and it was his fault. NO it was not. James Cagney the actor took him in and started his road to recovery.

Thanks for your response and your feedback. In retrospect, I think it was a bad idea on my part. I'm glad it didn't work out and won't make that mistake again.

Another consideration is... Do I really want to invite those demons into my life? Do I want to sit and listen to someone else's problems for 2 hours? He's an angry and depressed guy. Little things that happened to you and I years ago, we simply brush off and forget. He's completely the opposite. He can literally work himself into a rage while describing how someone cheated him out of a couple hundred bucks 20 years ago. At other times, he's friendly, funny and chill; a great guy to hang around. I don't get it.

[Johnny]

One of my best friends texted me

and said that he was going to be

at such and such place…he didn’t

respond to any of my calls or texts

I drove to where he said he was going

to be…he had blown the top of his

head off…it wasn’t a pretty sight…

I'm sorry you experienced that; especially at the hands of one of your best friends.

[Johnny]

I don't have a good answer .
I have dealt with far too many suicides on my job.
7 in the first 8 years of my precinct alone ,
including a good friend killing himself , on duty ,
in uniform , at 0430 hrs , Christmas morning , 1994 ,
inside of Smith's Bar at W44th St and 8th Ave .

He walked in , sat in a booth , and killed himself
with his .38 Special .

A number of men I worked with , now retired , are
killing themselves .

The young kids on my job , so disillusioned
with being punching bags and disrespected
because liberal politicians and civilian liberals
want it that way , even though white liberals make
up only an extremely small minority who have
the balls to become cops

They're all individuals
They all have different reasons .
You are stigmatized if you contact the dept
or the so called , "Hotline."

Permanent solution for a temporary problem ,
and I don't have a good answer

MERC

I haven't had any close friends commit suicide; only some acquaintances and people from work.

The last one I encountered was a guy from work. He shot himself at his home in front of his family. A pretty awful thing to do. I guess he wanted to hurt them as well. He had been depressed because he had worked a deal to transfer from the Army National Guard to the Coast Guard. There was a week gap between the time he left the Guard and the time he would be activated in the Coast Guard. In the span of that 1 week, he severely fractured his leg. Neither service would take him and was permanently disqualified. It was a messed up situation, but nothing so bad as to kill yourself over.

Heck... An old friend (now deceased) was paralyzed from a car accident and lived another 20 years with no feelings below the nipples. He could move his arms but had very little dexterity in his fingers. He didn't care. He would tinker with cars and tractors all day long. He always had a smile on his face and loved playing practical jokes on people. Great dude.

[merc]

One of my best friends texted me

and said that he was going to be

at such and such place…he didn’t

respond to any of my calls or texts

I drove to where he said he was going

to be…he had blown the top of his

head off…it wasn’t a pretty sight…

Yes .
That stings .
You don't forget it
😑

MERC

[merc]

I haven't had any close friends commit suicide; only some acquaintances and people from work.

The last one I encountered was a guy from work. He shot himself at his home in front of his family. A pretty awful thing to do. I guess he wanted to hurt them as well. He had been depressed because he had worked a deal to transfer from the Army National Guard to the Coast Guard. There was a week gap between the time he left the Guard and the time he would be activated in the Coast Guard. In the span of that 1 week, he severely fractured his leg. Neither service would take him and was permanently disqualified. It was a messed up situation, but nothing so bad as to kill yourself over.

Heck... An old friend (now deceased) was paralyzed from a car accident and lived another 20 years with no feelings below the nipples. He could move his arms but had very little dexterity in his fingers. He didn't care. He would tinker with cars and tractors all day long. He always had a smile on his face and loved playing practical jokes on people. Great dude.

It's never a good subject .
It never has a happy ending .
😑

MERC