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Ole and Lena
Lena is pregnant with Ole's child.
Late one night, Lena vakes up Ole and says,
'I tink it's time!'
So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor
and took her to the hospital to have their first baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor
looked over at Ole and said, 'A son! Ain't dat Great!'
Well, Ole got excited by dis, but yust
den the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on!
We ain't finished yet!'The doctor den held up a little girl..
He said, 'Hey, Ole! You got you a daughter!
She's a pretty little ting, too.'
Ole got kind of puzzled by this, an then the doctor said,
'Holey Moley Ole, we still ain't done yet!'
The doctor then delivered another boy
and said, 'Ole, you yust had yourself another boy!'
Ole was flabbergasted by this news!
A couple days later, Ole brought Lena and their three children
home in the self-propelled combine.
He was real serious and he asked Lena ,
'How come we got tree on the first try?'
Lena said, 'You remember dat night we ran out of Vaseline and
you vent out in the garage and got dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?'
Ole said, 'Yeah, I do... Uffda!
It's a darn good ting I didn't get the WD-40.'
__________________________________________________ ______
Ole and Lena, dey's a havin' a goot time in de bedroom one night, and Ole's goin' downtown on Lena, a lappin' away.
Suddenly de gas comes upon Lena, so she lifts one leg a bit and lets it out. Ole, he don't pay dis no mind, just keeps a lappin' away.
Well, de gas is gettin' to Lena a bit more, so she lets a bit bigger blast go...Ole pays no attention, just keeps a lappin' at that liddle man in de boat.
Finally, de build up is gettin' really bad for Lena and she rips off a biggun! Ole don't let on like anyting's amiss, just keeps a goin' to town down south.
Lena finally says, "God Ole...don't dat stink?"
Ole says, "Yah it does Lena...keep a pumpin' in de fresh air!"
__________________________________________________ __________
"It's yust too hot to wear clothes today," said Ole as he stepped out of the shower. "Lena, vhat do you tink the neighbors vould tink if I mowed the lawn like dis?"
"Probably that I married you for your money."
__________________________________________________ _______________
So Lena takes herself a trip to California one year, to visit some friends who live there. Her friends take her to Disneyland, they see the famous movie star homes, then do some window shopping on Rodeo Drive.
Waiting at a street corner for the light to change, Lena sees a Hell's Angel go by on his Harley and immediately gets excited.
"Oh! Oh! Dat's vat I want to do! I vant to be a Hell's Angel and ride de motorcycle! Brooom, Brooom, let's go!!!"
Well, her friends try to convince her otherwise, but Lena is insistent, "Broom, Broom, I ride de motorcycle, let's go!" So finally her friends agree and take her to the meeting at the Hell's Angel's clubhouse.
The meeting begins and the chapter leader steps up to the podium and asks, "Before we start, is there anyone here who wants to join the Hell's Angels?"
Lena immediately jumps up, "Yes! YES!!! I vant to be a Hell's Angel and ride da motorcycle. Broom, Broom, let's go!!!"
The leader looks at her sceptically, then finally says, "Well, if you want to be a Hell's Angel you'll need to pass a few of our tests. First, if you want to be a Hell's Angel, you need to have a bike."
Lena starts jumping up and down, "Oh yah, I gots a Harley Davidson, 1200cc, I ride da motorcycle, broom broom let's go!"
The leader, a bit nonplussed, says, "if you want to be a Hell's Angel, you need to have a leather jacket."
Lena says, "Oh yah! I got de great jacket...has de skull and crossbones on one shoulder and crossed daggers on de otter. I'm ready to ride de motorcycle Broom Broom let's go!"
The leader smiles and says, "If you want to be a Hell's Angel, you have to have a helmet."
Lena, getting more exited by the moment squeals, "Yah, Yah! I gots a helmut from my great grandpa vas in de first world war...it gots the spike up the middle...I'm ready ride de motorcycle, broom broom let's go!"
The leader then says, "If you want to be a Hell's Angel, you have to have the boots."
Lena says, Yah!! I gots de great boots! Yused to belong to my uncle who vas a Nazi in de second world war. I'm ready, ride de motorcycle, broom broom, let's go!"
The leader, now realizing he's backed himself completely into a corner says, "We only have one more test. If you can pass this test, you're in. If you want to be a Hell's Angel, you have to have been picked up by the fuzz!"
Lena, perplexed look on her face, breaks into a big frown...
"Ohhhhh...NOooo! I've been svung around by de tits once or twice...but I ain't never been picked up by da fuzz!!!"
Late one night, Lena vakes up Ole and says,
'I tink it's time!'
So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor
and took her to the hospital to have their first baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor
looked over at Ole and said, 'A son! Ain't dat Great!'
Well, Ole got excited by dis, but yust
den the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on!
We ain't finished yet!'The doctor den held up a little girl..
He said, 'Hey, Ole! You got you a daughter!
She's a pretty little ting, too.'
Ole got kind of puzzled by this, an then the doctor said,
'Holey Moley Ole, we still ain't done yet!'
The doctor then delivered another boy
and said, 'Ole, you yust had yourself another boy!'
Ole was flabbergasted by this news!
A couple days later, Ole brought Lena and their three children
home in the self-propelled combine.
He was real serious and he asked Lena ,
'How come we got tree on the first try?'
Lena said, 'You remember dat night we ran out of Vaseline and
you vent out in the garage and got dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?'
Ole said, 'Yeah, I do... Uffda!
It's a darn good ting I didn't get the WD-40.'
__________________________________________________ ______
Ole and Lena, dey's a havin' a goot time in de bedroom one night, and Ole's goin' downtown on Lena, a lappin' away.
Suddenly de gas comes upon Lena, so she lifts one leg a bit and lets it out. Ole, he don't pay dis no mind, just keeps a lappin' away.
Well, de gas is gettin' to Lena a bit more, so she lets a bit bigger blast go...Ole pays no attention, just keeps a lappin' at that liddle man in de boat.
Finally, de build up is gettin' really bad for Lena and she rips off a biggun! Ole don't let on like anyting's amiss, just keeps a goin' to town down south.
Lena finally says, "God Ole...don't dat stink?"
Ole says, "Yah it does Lena...keep a pumpin' in de fresh air!"
__________________________________________________ __________
"It's yust too hot to wear clothes today," said Ole as he stepped out of the shower. "Lena, vhat do you tink the neighbors vould tink if I mowed the lawn like dis?"
"Probably that I married you for your money."
__________________________________________________ _______________
So Lena takes herself a trip to California one year, to visit some friends who live there. Her friends take her to Disneyland, they see the famous movie star homes, then do some window shopping on Rodeo Drive.
Waiting at a street corner for the light to change, Lena sees a Hell's Angel go by on his Harley and immediately gets excited.
"Oh! Oh! Dat's vat I want to do! I vant to be a Hell's Angel and ride de motorcycle! Brooom, Brooom, let's go!!!"
Well, her friends try to convince her otherwise, but Lena is insistent, "Broom, Broom, I ride de motorcycle, let's go!" So finally her friends agree and take her to the meeting at the Hell's Angel's clubhouse.
The meeting begins and the chapter leader steps up to the podium and asks, "Before we start, is there anyone here who wants to join the Hell's Angels?"
Lena immediately jumps up, "Yes! YES!!! I vant to be a Hell's Angel and ride da motorcycle. Broom, Broom, let's go!!!"
The leader looks at her sceptically, then finally says, "Well, if you want to be a Hell's Angel you'll need to pass a few of our tests. First, if you want to be a Hell's Angel, you need to have a bike."
Lena starts jumping up and down, "Oh yah, I gots a Harley Davidson, 1200cc, I ride da motorcycle, broom broom let's go!"
The leader, a bit nonplussed, says, "if you want to be a Hell's Angel, you need to have a leather jacket."
Lena says, "Oh yah! I got de great jacket...has de skull and crossbones on one shoulder and crossed daggers on de otter. I'm ready to ride de motorcycle Broom Broom let's go!"
The leader smiles and says, "If you want to be a Hell's Angel, you have to have a helmet."
Lena, getting more exited by the moment squeals, "Yah, Yah! I gots a helmut from my great grandpa vas in de first world war...it gots the spike up the middle...I'm ready ride de motorcycle, broom broom let's go!"
The leader then says, "If you want to be a Hell's Angel, you have to have the boots."
Lena says, Yah!! I gots de great boots! Yused to belong to my uncle who vas a Nazi in de second world war. I'm ready, ride de motorcycle, broom broom, let's go!"
The leader, now realizing he's backed himself completely into a corner says, "We only have one more test. If you can pass this test, you're in. If you want to be a Hell's Angel, you have to have been picked up by the fuzz!"
Lena, perplexed look on her face, breaks into a big frown...
"Ohhhhh...NOooo! I've been svung around by de tits once or twice...but I ain't never been picked up by da fuzz!!!"
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